My Grandfather’s Clock, 90 Years

Today, June 5th 2012 would have been my Grandpa J’s 90th Birthday. He has been gone almost 4 full years – but his spirit and legacy are still very much with us, every.day.

As I began to think about this day all I could think of was the song – “My Grandfather’s Clock” – for some crazy reason we sang it in a play in second grade – it was a “Father Time” play. Seems a little morbid looking back – but I remember DG dressed up as Father Time – and I have never forgotten the words to this song.

Grandpa’s Clock

My grandfather’s clock
Was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor;
It was taller by half
Than the old man himself,
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn
Of the day that he was born,
And was always his treasure and pride;
But it stopped short
Never to go again,
When the old man died.
CHORUS:
Ninety years without slumbering,
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
His life seconds numbering,
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
It stopped short
Never to go again,
When the old man died.

My grandparents had an amazing clock in their living room – (so happened it was a ‘grandmother’ clock but still, it is big). The sound is magnificent – and the memories of watching Grandpa wind it fill my heart – it was almost ritualistic.

I worried, as a 7 year old, if this clock would stop working when my Grandpa died…and if it did, what would I have to remember him by.

The clock still works beautifully – and I love listening it to it whenever I am at my parent’s home – but I never had to worry about how I would remember him – he is a part of my every day.

He has influenced so much of who I am today, how J and I raise our children, how we value family and relationships, how we observe our Judaism. I know how proud he would be of all of us today, knowing that he had a hand in raising all of us and the decisions we make today as adults.

That other song that comes to mind is one that he used to sing: My Zayde 
But Zayde made us laugh,
Zayde made us sing,

And Zayde made a kiddush Friday night;

And Zayde, oh, my Zayde,How I loved him so,
And Zayde used to teach me wrong from right

So much has happened in the past 4 years, his absence has truly been felt…from the birth of E, to RD & D’s wedding, and DR & A’s wedding, Lolo’s graduation from graduate school, DR & DL’s graduations from law school, JP on Broadway, JP’s engagement to A, Lolo’s engagement to P, Unc on birthright, Bob and Belle learning to read Torah, all the teeth that have been lost and so many other everyday happenings where we would love to just pick up the phone and share it with him…

Happy Birthday George. We love you and we miss you everyday – but we know you are watching over us and all we do. From the tick-tock of the clock to kiddush Friday night and everything in between, you are a part of us and we are your amazing legacy.

Grandpa and me 1975
Grandma, Grandpa and Me 1977

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Eulogy I gave at Grandpa’s Funeral – 8-15-08

When thinking of Grandpa J, we think of a strong man, with strong values and strong opinions. Grandpa J was not shy about telling us, or anyone, his opinion. Everything he did, and all the choices he made were made with the best intentions and with his bubie – children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren in mind.
We as his grandchildren learned much from him – but most importantly, the importance of family relationships. Grandpa, weather he meant to or not taught us that family time, through traveling and spending chagim together, create our most important memories and bonds. We as siblings, in groups, of three – EJ, SJ and RD – Lolo, Unc and me – JP, DR and DL, have emulated  the relationships our parents have modeled with each other…but we as cousins – all 9 of us – and now with the addition of our spouses – have a relationship that many siblings can only dream of.
As I stand here today– I can still here him say Hi Lissa Pooh as he answers the phone. Just in that right voice of his – in recent years it has been, how many kids do you have now? 4 – FOUR! You knocked out FOUR kids…but when I think Grandpa J, that isn’t what I remember.
I remember walking to the bathroom from my yellow room in their house – and hearing someone say, “is that a mouse I hear??” “a large mouse!”
Climbing into bed between Grandma and Grandpa and Grandpa trying to warm his toes on me – a talent I have inherited. I remember Grandpa rubbing his stubbly face on mine. And him smelling my cheek.
I remember watching fireworks out of the bedroom window after4th of July baseball games, and listening to airplanes overhead – by the direction grandpa knew where they were headed.
I remember sitting on the spinny stool in his office watching him work on everyone’s mouths. And I remember yelling at him to put both hands back on the wheel as he clapped to his chazonish music in the car.
I remember walking to shul with Grandpa and sitting on the wrong side of the mechitzah on his lap – with all the men, with the boys getting up to sing Anim Zemirot – and the bar mitzvah reading Torah – he would say, “Lissa Pooh, you are going to be do that soon.” The irony escaped me then,but he believed I would – and though it was at a very different shul, without a mechitzah – I did.
I remember walking to the record store, to buy my Aficoman present – Sader Party that has become infamous over these years and that Grandma B was able to bring back to us last year.
I don’t know if the other grandchildren know this – and I’m pretty sure my kids don’t – but Grandpa was way ahead of his time – maybe 4 or5 decades – with recycling. Grandpa used to type letters and notes on envelopes that he pulled out of his trash can in his office.
Long before the 75 year old Grandpa J mastered the world of“web-tv” 10 years ago, Grandpa wrote letters to congressmen and senators,presidents and vice presidents alike – and when that standard form letter came back he believed that people like the likes of President Regan were really writing to him. Boy were we concerned when his ability to mail out letters multiplied exponentially by the power of the forward button.
Grandpa J loved each one of us, in his own way. There were times when he was hard on each one of us – but grandpa truly believed that it was his responsibility, as the Dad, as the Grandpa and as the Zayde– like Moshe Rabeinu taught – to make sure his children all lived up to the best of their potential.
(Bob) – “the one with brains” you are named after Zayde‘s cousin Jack. Zayde loved your love of Judaism and your inquisitiveness, and your love for knowledge and reading. May you think not only of Hashem every time you “put a kippah on your head” – but Zayde also.
(Belle) – “the smart blonde one” – you are named after Zayde‘s brother Uncle Eli, Yechielle  – he loved your sensitive nature and how you sat and talked with him, and I loved the way you had patience and reminded me very much of my relationship with Zayde when I was your age.
(Bean) – “little girl” – you are named after Grandpa G –who anytime his name was mentioned Zayde said, he was such a nice man. Zayde judged character – he knew when he liked someone – and your are someone who is special and sensitive to others’ emotions.
(Puppy) – “gan eden” – you are named for the praise to god of having achieved the garden of eden, paradise – with four healthy children. You are the youngest of all of Zayde‘s 8 great grandchildren. What paradise Zayde was able to achieve – a loving beautiful wife of 63 years, 5 wonderful children,– 11 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren.
My wish for my children is that you remember the relationship you had with your Zayde – and that you strive each day to be the best person, friend and family member you can be.
May we all live healthy long lives full joy, knowledge and compassion – living life to it’s fullest.

Number 4 and "the others never…."

We find ourselves saying “the others NEVER did that!” quite often after Puppy does something unexpected, or different — throwing us into the roll of first time parents, so to speak for each incident.

The first that comes to mind is our anniversary 2006 – Puppy bit a Nerf football — we found part of the piece and the football, and realized that there was still a piece missing. After a trip to the END to make sure he didn’t swallow a piece – they sent us to the radiologist for a barium swallow, as the ENT said with foam, ya just never know, it could be hiding somewhere…and low and behold, there on the screen during the barium swallow, was that little piece of foam being pushed down by that yucky barium – and probably pooped out at some point….that was a big “the others NEVER did that!”

Tonight – Puppy climbed out of his crib, TWICE!! I know, I know – He is 2.5 — and Lolo did that at 14 months — but “the others NEVER did that!” The second time he hurt his little toe — “da pinkie mommy, da little one – kiss it please” — ok Puppy but we don’t climb out of our criby – cause you can get hurt — “I know mommy! da pinkie got hurt!”

My sweet little boy — here’s to no more, the others never…

6 years ago today… good will rise above – most days!

6 years ago today our wonderful Belle was born. Amid being mad at J for not getting me the epidural I was asking for — crying “you promised” — yelling that a sexual organ of mine hurt, over and over and over again — and the nurse telling me not to push because they couldn’t fine my doctor….our bouncing baby girl, weighing a surprising 10lbs came into our world and our lives.

We planned her, we asked for her, we need her to come when she did. You see, J-h’s dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer in Aug of 01, I had a miscarriage that same week — while J was away visiting his dad — a pregnancy I didn’t know I had until it was gone, and a terrible day that rocked our world 9-11-01. We wanted something good, we needed a good thing to look forward to, and we wanted to be happy again. Bob was only 7 months old at the time, but we knew it was time. Unc may never forgive us, for where it happened – but if it didn’t happen then, Grandpa G would have never met our precious Belle…

It was a tough pregnancy – not physically so much, but emotionally. J also lost his job that August, and things were quite tough — we didn’t know he would be out of work for more than 6 months. The emotions of Grandpa G being sick, and the fear of what it meant to the family was great. The organization I was working for was hit hard by 9/11 and finances there were also of grave concern (I ended up loosing my job December 02).

But Belle came that beautiful June morning — on her due date — our friend M and R came to take care of Bob….M was his favorite person at the time. Grammy had come in the night before and was able to be with us as well. Of course B our friend and Doula, who saved me from a section with Bob and helped us with both Bean and Puppy’s too!

It was a quick labor – 6 hours and a much easier entrance into mother hood the second time around then the first.

We all were together for her naming on July 7th 2002 — the last time both sides would be together in its entirety before Grandpa G passed away 3 months later.

We chose a special name for her — well I did and J went along with it. Her name means “good will rise above” – I love it – it fits her, the time she was born both in the world and in our family. She was also named after my great uncle, my grandfather’s brother, who despite being mentally slow, lived a full life – on his own — rising above any challenge that faced him…that is our hope and wish for our Belle.

Today she went off to camp — 6 years old — ears pierced and all — with a big smile and a can do attitude. I worry about her, constantly….but I know – she will rise above any obstacle in her path (self inflicted or otherwise:))

You are now free to roam around…

For the first time in 7 years – J and I are able to roam the home without a gate…I will not miss the banging of the gate against the wall – I can still hear it in my head, I will not miss telling the kids not to swing on it, I will not miss the closer being at eye level of half our children and knocking bruises on their faces, I will not miss trying to open it while carrying a load or two of laundry in my arms, I will not miss stubbing my toe on it…

it is a big milestone, it is a little bit exciting, a little sad at the same time (our babies are growing up)– but the fear of J or I falling down the steps — tremendous!