Author Archives: JEJYAA

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About JEJYAA

Mom of 4 biological children and Foster Mom. Life for me is Just Your Average Adventure. We (E and J) are a loving couple married for 25 years... This is our story....

Shabbat Playdates O-My!

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So it started out as a simple – Bob was going to have a playdate with his best bud form birth JM – well JM has a sister EM who is Bean’s age – so they wanted to play…ok god who will we have for Belle? We call AP and she can come, thank god! So now you are thinking that I am leaving out Puppy….no no! That is when it got crazy…

BSP, my oldest and dearest friend from kindergarten gas been telling me about her friend BR and her husband RR, who have a daughter SR who is going to be at school with Puppy…but they also have a son JR who is 18 months old…BSP herself has SPa who is Puppy age and SPb who is 4 months old (yes, both their names start with S — I’m not the only one to mess this up!) so I invited both families….J was aware of this, but what I forgot to tell him….is that when I thought of who was coming — I invited TG — with her three kids – SG who is Bean’s age, LG who is Puppy’s age and NG who is JR’s age so they could meet too….

Needless to say, the 4 year olds were the loudest – the 2 almost 3 year olds cried the most…and some parents handled the noise better than others…

All in all I had a great time, lovely people — and J chose not to divorce me yet!

My cleaner upper…

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I have one! ONE — I guess one out of5 (including J) isn’t bad. I don’t know if she does it for praise, or for attention, or to please — or because she is wired that way…but when a house full of people are coming – I can count on Bean to help bring about some order and neatness to the chaos house of “Central” — thank god for middle children!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..

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Can’t take that word anymore – It annoys me when Bob says it, when Bean says it — even when Puppy says it — but when Belle does…it brings on an entirely new meaning…

The repeated nonononononononononononononononononononononono — there are no other words…none, just no in a different pitch, a different cry, a different scream…but it continues…and cries, and screams…as I type — J is dealing with the screams… and trying to calm her, there is no talking – there is no reason…just the repeated no.

What caused it this time? Who knows….she came out of her shower — that she did greatly on her own, she was really cute coming out of the shower — I gave her her towel, and reminded her to be careful coming out, and not to slip…for a second she gave me a VERY weird blank, almost catatonic look…I laughed…and so did she, she snapped into a big smile. I asked her to dry off before she got she left the bathroom, and I would come cuddle once she was in PJ’s.

(8:49 — the screaming has ended — only 31 minutes this encounter)

A few minutes later she jumped into our bed – getting bet between our duvet and the cover — something that drives us nuts, as it rips the cover…. she said she was cold and need to warm up. I asked her to come out of the cover, get her pj’s on, and I would help warm her up under her covers.

That is when the no’s began…(this time)

I helped her into her bed, put on her pj’s and tucked her in — then it continued, the one word chorus, the unending screaches and screams… she undressed and followed me around, screaming she was cold and NO!

J took her into her bed — and somehow got her calm…he said re-direction…asking her what she wanted for lunch tomorrow – snapped her out of it, this time. And then she asked for her winter PJ’s — it is 87 degrees…and she wants winter fleece pj’s – fine, we have air conditioning, and it is getting cooler — but what prevented her from just saying “mommy, I’m cold, can I have my winter PJ’s?” Maybe someday we will know — I’m just thankful J was able to help her out of it this time…he is really good at it, he always has been…patience I need to learn.

Sensory issues, sure — can they be the cause of all these outbursts and meltdowns? We are on the quest to help her….

Super Sunday!

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What a great day! We drove all the way to PA today for a fun filled swim day of family. Aunt J and Uncle R, Cousin J and D, Bubbie, Zaddie, Aunt M from Israel, Grammy and Grandpa, Unc and Lolo, “special Grandma T”– of course Jesse and Keppi the dogs — all met for a wonderful, relaxed day by the pool.

4 generations — much love and more – ration of 2.75 adults per child — much more then we have on any normal day! But to hear Bubbie, my grandma say it was the best day of her life — was awesome! Zaddie even got his feet into the pool — grandma was quite sad, watching all the help he needed to do it, I was too — this strong, brilliant man, dentist, husband, care taker, father to three, grandpa to 9, now great grandpa to 8 has withered… but no matter how we have felt about what has come out of his mouth in the past, we all love him and are there to support both he and grandma…as they have always done for us. I’m so fortunate to have my kids know my grandparents…and love to spend time with them, just like I did…just like they do with my parents…we are all truly blessed.

Pooped with poop…

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I am soo done with poop! I get that I have four kids, I get that it is a growing process…I don’t mind changing diapers, never had…I was never the mom to care about that, for god sakes I had 3 kids in diapers at one time…BUT to have my 7 year old, and now my 6 year old – having problems with pooping their pants…I’m SOOOOO DONE!

My baby…

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Tonight there was a major change in our house…and I was totally unprepared, absolutely took me by surprise. J took the side of Puppy’s crib off…Puppy now sleeps in a toddler bed…

I was not prepared, I wasn’t ready — could I say it in a different way? I feel I needed to psych myself up for my baby, my youngest to not be in a crib anymore – more than just the second anyway.

All 4 kids were excited — J was excited, mostly that he wouldn’t have to get out of bed to get Puppy anymore…

I’m excited for Puppy too, he is a big boy, when Bob was his age, he was almost a big brother to two and in a big boy bed for a while…it helps put things in perspective…but alas, for the last time in Central, we took a crib side off to make a toddler bed…

I’m a little sad.

Wisdom of others…

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Sometimes during conversations with people in our lives, or people that we don’t even know — some thing profound comes out of it and I try to remember it!

Today, a wonderful woman at shul was talking about how wonderful Belle, even with all her issues going on…. she said having Belle in a class would make it worth going back into a classroom instead of administration! I love that some people an get her. We talked a little about the type of teacher who would be good for her…but she said, we have to make sure whomever she has doesn’t break her spirit and the inner calm Belle has… WOW – something in our crazy day to day…I must remember….

The other thing that is on my list…Tim Russert died two weeks ago…but through all the tributes and all the quotes they showed him saying…the one that I keep remembering is “Luke, I’m proud to be your dad.”

Bob, Belle, Cookoo, Puppy — I’m proud to be your mom!

Middle Child Syndrome

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Middle Child Syndrome – I believe in it. Both my parents are middle children, my sister Lolo is a middle child — My friend BP — I’ve watched it, I get it…one of the reasons I wanted 4 children…but I guess there is alway a middle-ish child. In our house Bean is it. I realized that I have yet to bring her up…poor kid!

To describe her…she is like an only child who didn’t get the memo that she was not only one of 4 — but the 3rd to be born. Bean loves attention, craves attetion and will do anything in her power to get it…possitive or negative. She messes with people, especially Puppy, to get them to do things with her, but makest them angry.

She loves adults- and loves to please us….but will tell us something she did wrong, even if it something so low on the do not do list/ or even something that is fine to do, but she decided it wasn’t — she tilts her head to the side, chin down, lip out, puppy dog eyes looking up and an ALMOST tear — saying “I am sorry I _________ mommy, I know you will be mad, I won’t do it again, I love you”

She is also the child, when I am angry at someone else or yelled for any reason — says “mommy I love you” in a shy quiet way.

But come time to take a picture, or stand still, or stop talking – FORGET IT!

She is a sweet, caring, BRILLIANT little girl, who gets people, loves life, loves everyone around her — she deserves the best – my prayer for her is that she accepts it as it comes her way.

Slamming the gate!

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So it has bee a few days since the gates have been remove…and my coaxing J out of a mood with yelling at him not to slam it….Bob is over it — but my beautiful 7 year old Bob is still telling me when he slammed the gate — and when he does it a second time! I love him!

Number 4 and "the others never…."

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We find ourselves saying “the others NEVER did that!” quite often after Puppy does something unexpected, or different — throwing us into the roll of first time parents, so to speak for each incident.

The first that comes to mind is our anniversary 2006 – Puppy bit a Nerf football — we found part of the piece and the football, and realized that there was still a piece missing. After a trip to the END to make sure he didn’t swallow a piece – they sent us to the radiologist for a barium swallow, as the ENT said with foam, ya just never know, it could be hiding somewhere…and low and behold, there on the screen during the barium swallow, was that little piece of foam being pushed down by that yucky barium – and probably pooped out at some point….that was a big “the others NEVER did that!”

Tonight – Puppy climbed out of his crib, TWICE!! I know, I know – He is 2.5 — and Lolo did that at 14 months — but “the others NEVER did that!” The second time he hurt his little toe — “da pinkie mommy, da little one – kiss it please” — ok Puppy but we don’t climb out of our criby – cause you can get hurt — “I know mommy! da pinkie got hurt!”

My sweet little boy — here’s to no more, the others never…