Friday was another terrible day at camp for Belle — she hit a child, they punished her, they didn’t follow the certificate regimen that we had given them to help her…and then to top it off a pisher of a kid tried to psychoanalyze my daughter – god damn it… she roll played with her and thought that I would be so excited by this…and gave her all this attention — why couldn’t she just listen and follow through on what I asked them to do?

They were so mean to her, I watched during their show… the conselors didn’t respond to her – like they did to the others, the kids shied away from her…I was so sad for my beautiful girl who has been driving everyone crazy…driving me crazy — I love her, I love her, I love her — I may need to repeat it over and over and over — or even climb to the highest rooftop — I LOVE HER! I want everyone else to also…

I called R – our ped — crying – I’m was afraid they were either going to break her, or kick her out! He is just amazing, just amazing — after droppng Bob off after another accident – I took her to his office and he put her on clonidine – a quarter of a .1mg pill 2x per day ….

I hate drugging my little girl – I hate drugging my little girl — but I need to be able to love my little girl on my outside — not just my insides, I need to show her that I love her, we all do — she deserves it…she does.